If You’d Have Been Mine

A Developmental Story written by LB, a Foster Carer (shared with permission).

In Developmental Stories, parents/carers are encouraged to think about their child’s development and gaps they may have experienced, not just task/doing based gaps, but also relational gaps and what they may have missed out on together. They are then supported to write narratives/stories to help convey their hopes and dreams for their child’s successful development.

If you'd have been mine, I'd have smiled from day one,

As I held you in my arms, my new precious one,

I'd have smiled and gazed adoringly at you, as in my arms you lay,

Giving thanks for this most perfect of days.

With Bobbikin's Lullaby I'd have sung you to sleep,

And prayed that God and his angels safe you would keep,

For this was the start of a journey taken together,

Where love kept you warm and made life so much better.

If you'd have been mine, I'd have helped you the world to explore,

As we played and experienced the 'in' and 'out' doors,

For we would have watched snails make their slimy trails,

And stroked dogs to make big wags in their tails.

We would have held wriggly worms and giggled as they tickled our hands, 

And watched ants carry huge weights across our garden land,

And there would have been hedgehogs, foxes and squirrels too,

As you became acquainted with their world and they, with yours, too.

If you'd have been mine, I'd have wrapped you up warm and in waterproof boots, 

So we could splash in spring puddles like moorhens and coots,

And crunched our way through crisp leaves under Autumn trees,

And made snowmen and snow angels in the wintry freeze.

We'd have squelched our way through thick sticky mud,

And run through a meadow which, with colour, was flood,

And each evening would end with a biscuit and hot drink,

As, on our day, we would silently contemplate and think.

If you'd have been mine, each night would have had a bedtime story,

Full of villains, adventures and heroes gaining their glory,

Or maybe one of those Disney cartoon films you've never ever seen,

With silly King John, flying Dumbo or Snow White's wicked Queen.

We'd have made up our own stories too and acted them out,

And lived out the adventures on beds as boats and rugs as flying carpets to get about,

And blankets and chairs as dens, caves, tents and hidey-holes,

And boxes as cars, planes and machines to overcome wizards, dragons and trolls.

If you'd have been mine, I'd have taken you to castles, museums and forts,

To ruins, monasteries and buildings and gardens of all sorts,

We'd have stood on mountains, cliff edges, beaches and more,

And walked through woods and forests to knock at nature's door.

We'd have been to canals, rivers, streams and lakes,

And watched, and wandered along, the pathways they take.

We'd have laid in the garden and watched the amazing sky at night,

And observed planets, eclipses and meteors as they took to flight.

If you'd have been mine, I'd have helped you to enjoy school,

I'd have helped you to settle and understand the rules,

I'd have made sure you could enjoy lessons, and not the Head's room,

So you had knowledge and interests, and not discipline to daily over you loom.

Together we would have followed up on those things you wanted to know about more,

And given you confidence in those areas in which you were unsure,

I would have found ways to help you organise and remember your work,

So you did not experience last minute and berserk.

If you'd have been mine, you would have enjoyed breakfast, lunch and tea,

For I would have served your favourites and meals there would always be,

You would never wonder whether there would be another meal

And in your stomach, deep hunger, you would never feel.

There would always be enough, and healthy choices to make,

But still trifle, chocolate, biscuits and always cake,

I'd teach you how to bake them and, when safe, let you lick the bowl,

And nurture the love of cooking that lies deep within your soul.

If you'd have been mine, you would never be alone,

You'd know where I was whether in shops, at the park or home,

For I would be within calling distance, I'd never be far away,

No matter what day of the week or what time of the day.

You would never have to wonder when I was coming back,

Because we'd be together, and confidence in my being there you'd never lack,

To relieve your fear of being alone, you'd only have to call,

And I would come, be present, and give you my all.

But you weren't mine, someone else had the joy of your young days,

And gave you your experiences, your thoughts and your ways,

I had to wait many years to be able to bring you under my wing,

To fill in some of the gaps and share with you new things.

I know in the grand scheme of things your time with me is short,

And there is much I want us to share before our ship reaches port,

But know this, my love for you will keep going, and giving through time,

For I will always, always, treat you, as if you'd been mine.